Some warning signs of abuse in the home or in a relationship include:
Pushing for quick involvement:
Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.”Blaming others for problems or mistakes:
It’s always someone else’s fault when anything goes wrong.Making others responsible for his or her feelings:
The abuser says, “You make me angry,” instead of “I am angry,” or says, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.”Jealousy:
Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone.”
Unrealistic expectations:
Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
Threats of violence:
Says things like, “I’ll break your neck,” or “I’ll kill you,” and then dismisses them with, “I didn’t really mean it.”
Past battering:
Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him (or her) do it.
Rigid roles:
Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
Hypersensitivity:
Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad.
Controlling Behavior:
Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything.
Verbal abuse:
Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things, degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.
Sudden mood swings:
Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
Controlling behaviors using social media or technology:
Cyberstalking and creeping your online profile.
Use of force during sex:
Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex.
Cruelty to animals or children:
Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also, may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry.